Monday, October 19, 2020

Making a handrail for my dad

My dad was in a bad car crash last year. For some inexplicable reason he suddenly found himself in the wrong side of the road, and with an oncoming truck, it is a miracle that he managed to swerve the car to the right, so that instead of getting hit head on by the truck, instead it smashed the left side of his car.

He was incredible lucky to survive, and he had remnants of orange paint on his jacket from the truck, so a few more inches and he probably wouldn't have made it.

He was hospitalized for some time, and they discovered an internal bleeding in the skull, but the doctors believed that it was so small that it would stop on its own. He ended up getting pretty much back on his feet, and all was fine until the summer.

During the late spring and the summer his balance got gradually worse. And it culminated when my ship was going to Aarhus for the Tall Ships Races. My dad wanted to come on board and see the ship, but he got ill while waiting for us to berth, so I went to the first aid station and picked him up. When we walked the short distance to the ship , say maybe 250 yards. I became aware that he was constantly pulling to the left. I supported him and was afraid that there was something wrong, since it was like he had absolutely no power or control over his left side.

When we got to the ship, I got the doctor to check up on my dad, and he couldn't really find anything wrong, so we all decided that he was perhaps just tired and needed a nap to sort of digest the incident with getting ill and getting help from the first aid helpers of the arrangement.

A couple of hours later I woke him up, but he was confused and not better. So after consulting the doctor again, we decided to call for an ambulance. 

With the help of the police, the ambulance was able to get through the massive crowd of people to where our ship was berthed, and he was then taken to the hospital. 

At the hospital they first gave him some pain killer to ease of the fever that they discovered that he had. They then did a scan, and it turned out that the bleeding inside the skull hadn't stopped after all as the doctors on the other hospital had expected. So they kept him for a couple of days to get him ready for an operation to relieve the pressure on the brain.

They drained approximately a quart cup of blood out from inside his skull. No wonder that this treatment did a lot of difference. Now he could suddenly feel the left side of his body again.


Over the last two months, his health has suddenly started to deteriorate again. He lost his balance and his appetite and has begun to become a bit confused. He had a scan, but according to that there is no signs of an internal bleeding in the skull again. He has been checked by his own doctor and he is going to a specialized department at the hospital this week and seeing a neurologist next week. So I really hope that they will be able to find out what's wrong with him.

He now has such a bad balance and health that he has been temporarily assigned to a nursing home to keep him out of harms way by falling at home and maybe breaking an arm or a leg. This just happened over the course of one week. 

He voice sounds like he is drunk when I call him on the phone, and it is really not a good sign as far as I know.

A week or so before he was assigned to the nursing home, I visited him to help him mow the lawn and clear the trimmings from the hedge that he and his neighbour had cut a few days earlier. He had fallen a few times at that point, so we decided to make a hand rail for the stairs leading from the scullery (back door) and into the kitchen. 

It struck me as a bit sad, since it was the first time in ages that I did some woodworking in my fathers shop, and now I was suddenly making a handrail because he is getting old. 

It wasn't a super fancy or striking elegant piece of work, but I had to make do with what I could just find, and besides I had come down to visit him and talk with him, not to immerse myself in some high end woodworking. We found a piece of dry ash that could be made into a nice handrail, and my dad had a couple of brackets for attaching a it to the wall. 

It worked great for that coming week, and I really hope that he will get well again so he can return to his own home and then continue to use it for many years to come.

The remnants of my dads Renault Clio

Rounding a piece of ash

The installed handrail


22 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear your dad isn't well. I have fond memories of him grilling me about my "favorite anarchists." And the singing!

    All best to you and your family in this tough time.

    Chris

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    1. Hi Chris

      Thanks for the nice comment. I wasn't quite sure about writing the post, but it sort of takes up a lot of my mental capacity (which isn't a lot anyway).
      I picked him up the weekend before going back to sea, and he stayed with us for 3 days.
      During those days he was curious about Gustav's and my DTC building, and he suggested that the 3 of us went to Dictum for another ATC class. :-)
      So he remembers that fondly.

      Thanks
      Jonas

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  2. Jonas, Thank you for sharing this personal glimpse into your world. Life is not all sunshine and kittens, and I'm sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope he recovers, but regardless, thank you for opening up. Not always easy to do.
    I can partially relate as my father was in a car accident in 2017 that sounds eerily similar. He also had some internal brain bleeding, dizziness and confusion issues. He has recovered to a large extent, but still has lingering effects with concentration and mobility at times. It's been sort of hard to adjust from dad as the sharp-as-a-tack problem solver who can work like an ox all day, to believing he is in fact mortal. Take care, this reminds me I need to spend more time with Dad.

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    1. Hi Jerememy

      Thanks for the nice comment. I think that part of my problem too is like you describe: You suddenly realize that your dad is in fact mortal. And despite being grown up yourself it is hard to accept that fact, even when it is rubbed directly into your face.

      When my older brother first contacted the "county" about getting them to find out if he was eligible for some help at home, they at first responded that "in such a case it is usually the close family that steps in first". He then managed to explain to them while staying diplomatic, that the close family was a guy living in Tokyo, another one sailing half the time, and him who is vice principal at a high school and not living really near by.
      So they agreed to send their check up person out anyway.
      Luckily she could see that my dad really wasn't very fresh, so they agreed that it was a good thing that they got involved.

      Take care

      Jonas

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  3. So sorry to hear the news about your dad. Sending big hugs across oceans.
    Take care my friend.

    Bob and Jean

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    1. Hi Bob and Jean'

      Thank you very much for the hugs, it is warming already :-)
      And congratulations on your wedding, sorry that I haven't written you sooner and congratulated, but my mind have been a bit occupied with my dad.

      Take good care of each other
      Jonas

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  4. Hi Jonas,

    my best regards to Jens! Hope he will be better and use your handrail and let us have more views into his wonderful boxes.

    Cheers
    Pedder

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    1. Hi Pedder.

      Thanks for the nice comment.
      I will tell him today on the phone about all the people who have wished himw ell.

      Brgds
      Jonas

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  5. Hi Jonas,

    Last summer I did the same for my mother, because he had her knees caps replaced. It was a good moment when I saw my woodworking skills were able to help her mobility... but the I started to notice that she's getting older and with some heath issues too.

    A mix feeling really.

    Just hope your dad get better and that you're able to help him getting as confortable has he could be.

    Take cake, be safe, be happy

    Antonio

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    1. Hi António
      It is nice to be able to make something which is technically simple, but which will have a huge positive impact such as a hand rail.
      But like you say, it is a mixed feeling as well.

      Thanks
      Jonas

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  6. Thinking happy thoughts about your father's recovery to good health.

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  7. Sorry to hear this.
    In a crash, one s'head is moved violently.
    My step son had cardiac symptoms with no actual cardiac problem. Finally it was cured by an osteopath (cervical column).
    My Wife has had the "otolith" moved in the ears which created vertigo. Some manipulations by specialist doctor and kine get them back in place which has suppressed the symptoms.
    When my parents disappeared (91 and 89) in 3 month time, suddenly it was too late to ask questions about the family.

    let s'hope for the best for your father.
    Sylvain

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    1. Hi Sylvain.

      Due to the pandemic, most things in the health system seems to have slowed down, and when my older brother took my father to his local doctor, he was a lot better, so it wasn't urgent when he was assigned to the hospital so they could find out more about what is wrong with him, but suddenly it is as it keeps getting worse every day. But he is scheduled to go tomorrow, and if they think it is the best then he will get hospitalized instead of staying at the nursing home.
      I hope that he will be hospitalized, so he will be healed under a lot of supervision.

      Thanks
      Jonas

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  8. Sending good thoughts your way, Jonas. Good for you for being there for him.
    Matt McGrane

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    1. Hi Matt

      Thanks for the nice comment. I hope that I will soon again be able to drive do my dads house and take him home to our place for a weekend.

      Thanks
      Jonas

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  9. I am sorry to hear this. I will pass along something that happened to my dad within the last 3 or 4 years. He had similar (but not as sever) symptoms as your dad. It took a year of nagging from a lot of us before he would see the doctor. The doctor did all kinds of tests and couldn't find anything wrong. Then, one day it got much worse. Rushed him to the ER. He had had a stroke (the first time with the minor symptoms similar to your dad and this was the second one). The CAT scan did not pick it up on the first nor second time. When they did an MRI it was obvious and deep in the brain. If he hasn't had an MRI (they cost more than a CAT scan), it might be helpful. I am not a doctor nor am I providing medical advice. Just pointing out what I learned from my dad's experience. It's been two or three years since the stroke and my dad is about 95% normal. One of the meds they had him on (before they knew it was a stroke) for several months also produced symptoms that made him seem drunk and it also helped him loose 40 lbs. Once off the wrong med for him, he got back to 95% of normal.

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    1. Hi Joe

      Thanks for the nice comment. I am glad to hear that your dad got back to 95% normal. That gives me some hope for the future of my dad.

      The Danish health system is a bit complicated (I think), so you need the doctor to assign you to hospital, and then the hospital will do stuff like a scan etc.
      I think he already had a CAT scan, but we have an appointment with a neurologist and he is someone who can assign my dad for an MR scan.
      But this department at the hospital where he is going tomorrow specializes in health issues with senior citizens, so I really hope that they will be able to find out what is wrong with him.

      Thanks
      Jonas

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  10. If you need to hear it, you're a good son

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    1. Thank you Mitchell

      It is easy to fall into a deep pit and think about that you need to do more, but for the time being there isn't a lot more that I really can do except for calling him every day to keep up the spirits.

      Thanks
      Jonas

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  11. One of the best things about woodworking is that it can serve as mental therapy in confusing times. Given an appropriate tool, it can even be used for physical therapy!

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    1. Hi Ted

      Thanks for the nice comment.
      Woodworking works very well indeed for me as mental therapy.

      Brgds
      Jonas

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